my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
