I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
