at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
someone owes me an orgasm
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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