Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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