Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
