Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
