oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Randomize
