the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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