She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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