I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
