You just made me feel so damn special
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
