His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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