When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
