i permit you to call me
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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