Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
