You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
