As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
