Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
