I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
