see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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