My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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