she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
