At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
