I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
