my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
