first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
