I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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