She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just cut my nipple shaving
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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