I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
