can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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