using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
