Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
