All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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