You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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