dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
