Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
