i barfeds in our rink
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
