What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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