Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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