Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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