How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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