I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
