Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
