Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
