i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I skipped work to stalk him.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
