We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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