SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
