left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
