I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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