one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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