Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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