He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
