He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
