So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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