question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
