i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
