Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
