i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
