did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
