She said her name was "party"
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
