Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You pole danced in your parka.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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