my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My dad just said "fuck circus"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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