East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
